Ask Three People to Name Your Strengths

We’re at the point in my LYJ (Love Your Job) Search Class where I ask participants to do the following assignment. I was reminded again how valuable this exercise is so I wanted to post it here:

Ask 3 people who know you well what your biggest strengths are as they see it. Choose a variety of people, especially at least one person who knows some of your professional talents.

It’s one thing to be self-reflective and name your own strengths but it’s another to seek outside feedback. In the best possible scenario, colleagues and close friends who know you well are able to reflect back to you things that you are perhaps not able to see yourself. These may also be parts of yourself that you’re not yet able to own and accept fully.

For myself, it was close friends who pointed out what a wonderful mentor I am to younger women especially on career advice. At first I thought, oh that, it’s nothing. (This is very similar to my post on playing your “free square”.) But later I was able to integrate this strength into how I view myself.

It’s not always easy to ask for this feedback and it can feel uncomfortable to receive it. Women especially, it seems to me, tend to downplay their strengths and avoid standing in the spotlight. At the same time, I’m always amazed and delighted at how positive this experience can be. Students in my college career development class came to class with smiles on their faces reporting back on the information received. One of the jobseekers in my current LYJ class reached out to a former colleague and received such glowing feedback that this person is now working hard to get her a job at her company!

So go ahead and ask what your biggest strengths are. I find my closest friends who know a bit about my professional side work best. If you’re inspired, return the favor by reflecting back what you see in them. I promise it’s one of the best gifts you can give this holiday season.

About the Author: Suzanne Grossman

Suzanne Grossman is a job search coach and women’s leadership specialist. She is a founder of Love Your Job (LYJ) Search, a series of classes that support women in achieving fulfilling work at the compensation they deserve. She also advises graduate students, teaching them practical skills and sharing information on how to make the leap to satisfying careers. Suzanne has a BA in Psychology from Tufts University and a Master’s degree in Women’s and Gender Studies from Rutgers University. See testimonials on Suzanne’s success working with women jobseekers. Follow Suzanne on Twitter @LYJnow and @Suzanne_LYJnow. Contact lyjnow (at) gmail.com.

3 Comments

Rev. Caritas November 23, 2010 at 6:28 pm

I will do this. I have been wanting to do this as a part of my personal growth, and while my partner has done this with me, I am going to brave the world and ask others what they see as my strengths. Who knows, maybe it will even help them to be positive and less judgmental of others and themselves!

Thanks.
Nikita Mitchell January 17, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Great advice! I recently did this using a free tool (well, free for 15 days) call 360Reach – http://www.reachcc.com. It was a great way for me to see how my coworkers, peers, and family members perceive me.
- Suzanne January 17, 2011 at 10:57 pm
  
  Thanks for that tip, Nikita! I agree that 360 surveys are a powerful tool and have done one myself. I’ve also been on the receiving end of the one you mention. Well worth the effort.