I was talking to a good friend the other day who recently had a baby and is really loving her life at the moment. In addition to enjoying every moment with her adorable son, she and her husband are both working part-time and so have time to spend with each other and with their son as a family. Both of them work in demanding jobs as attorneys so achieving this life for themselves was no small feat. Before now, it was not unusual for one or both of them to work late into the evening, sharing take-out over a speaker phone. Now they’re both home before dinner, preparing home-cooked meals and spending quality time together.

How did they get there?

When I asked my friend this question, she responded:

“Even before I had a baby, I held a vision in my head of what our lives would be like as a family – even though I wasn’t sure how it would happen, I saw both of us working on a reduced schedule, with enough time to enjoy our lives, spend time with our baby, and be home in time for dinner. No matter what was happening outside, I continued to hold the vision in my head, until one day . . we arrived.”

This concept of painting and holding a vision one’s future can be incredibly helpful in any job search and in life. Alice in Wonderland, an amazing book, and a source of many of my favorite quotes can also be instructive on this point:

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where … ” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

Many times when I talk to individuals about their job search, they ask me what job openings are out there that match their qualifications. This is definitely useful information in any search, but another more important question is “where do you want to go?”. The answers to this question will have a significant impact on your next career move.

For example, if you’re an attorney thinking about the next step and hold a vision of yourself as a partner at a firm, then you might want to join a firm where you could see yourself growing and spending the next several years of your career. If you’re an attorney with the same skill set who would prefer pursue a passion for music while working only part-time, your path and choices regarding your next position would be markedly different.

Asking yourself “where you want to go” can be an intimidating question if you start out without any idea of where you’d like to end up, but a few smaller questions can be illuminating:

When you picture yourself at age 40, 50, 60 … 90 what are you doing?

How are you spending your time? Working? With family? With friends?

How much time do you spend on other pursuits?

What are those other pursuits?

What accomplishments in your life are you most proud of?

How do others in your community view you?

As the Cat points out, even if you don’t know where you want go, you will surely end up somewhere, it just helps to know where you’re going if you want to know which direction to move in at any particular point in time. And if you’re picturing yourself on a 100-foot yacht in the middle of the ocean, retired at age 35, or imagining some other Wildly Improbable Goal but thinking it may be outside your reach, here’s another tip from Alice In Wonderland, this time from the Queen:

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said, “one can’t believe impossible things.”

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen.

“When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. . . .

Why sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!”